Chav Fashion

Or as I like to think of it "chashion".

As I was walking around town yesterday, I was lucky enough to see all sorts of local youths out and about enjoying their sunny Sunday. The glorious thing about Southampton is that much amusement can be derived from watching these teenagers going about their business. Central London is seriously lacking in those who partake in such fashions. So what is chav fashion? How can I look cool, fashionable and theoretically threatening yet really only be laughed at? That is what I am here to tell you.

Females:
The key here is the head. You can spot a chav girl without looking below the shoulders. Simply pull your hair into a slightly too tight pony, the slicker the better, but don't be boring and put it in the middle of the back of your head, gather it a little to the side. And maybe toss in a colorful hair band to draw attention to your clever off-sides trick. With your hair back, people will be able to notice your beautiful earrings. What better way to draw the eye than with big, thick, colorful hoops. This electricl blue, hot pink. You want to be visible here. You're no blushing wallflower, after all. When it comes to make-up, you don't need to do too much extra. Perhaps a splash of color on the eyelids, but other than that it's okay to keep things relatively normal. When it comes to clothing, the lady chav is not too different than other trendy females her age, breaking out a few layers of racerback tanks, some leggings and perhaps an oversized shirt or two. Footwear is on occasion a nice converse situation, but the ballet flats are still the norm. Top if off with some sort of lollipop and you're good to go! But don't forget that look of slight disdain, or people might forget you are disenfranchised.

Males:
Don't you hate those binding jeans? Can't be bothered to actually put something on with a button and a zipper? Then you're in luck. The key to the latest chav man fashion is track pants. Often seen in navy, white is another popular look. Now, you want these to be around ankle length, to best show off your bitchin 'trainers'. If you're lucky, your track pants will come with a nice band around the ankle, but if for some reason they don't, you need not fret. You can achieve the same look, or perhaps be even more fashionable, by simply tucking your pants into your socks. On the upper half, zip-up lionsdale hoodies work well, as do most all over-sized tees and sweatshirts. Again, just stick with white and navy. To bring the look home, you need a cell phone that plays music. Just upload a few hip hop tunes, the grittier the better here, and play them on maximum volume, on speaker, everywhere you go. On the bus, in the convenience store, walking down the street, don't worry, EVERYONE wants to hear what you are listening to. Oh, and if for some reason you see a police car, it doesn't hurt to hide in the bushes!

Best of luck in pulling off these looks. And don't be shy, be a trendsetter!